Kakhi Clad Swine

“Are you Catholic?”, I asked the cab driver. He seemd like an intelligent sort of chap. Kind of like my dad’s friends who’d come over to talk of the “old Sri Lanka” and sip on Scotch: on the rocks…always on the rocks.

“No, I ‘m a Hindu. The cab owner is Catholic,” he replied looking at the crucifix swaying on the rearview mirror that had lead me to ask the question. We started talking:

He had been a professional diver before becoming a cabby. He’d Swim into the ocean, catch tropical fish and lobster and sell them for large amounts of money. He spoke of better times:

“Back then Sri Lanka was such a beautiful place. We would get in the train at Fort and the next morning we were in Jaffna, and we’d head out diving. It was great.”

Old age catches up with everybody. That’s why he had to give it up. The older you get, your body can’t handle the pressure. He looked about 55. He now drives cabs. A 24 hour job with no days off. He sleeps in the cab whenever he gets the chance. He gets paid about 800 – 2000 rupees a day. He lives in Kurunegala, has a wife and four kids. He studied at Royal College. He says he’s well-educated, but has no certificates or qualifications in order to get a deskjob. He hates the cops:

“This country is going down the drain men, especially if you are a Tamil. At least these army fellows check you for security reasons, but this cop buggers are…”

I see the copper pulling us over from the corner of my eye. We’re at Park Road. It’s 1 AM.

There’s a truck also pulled over in front of us. Mr.Traffic Cop is trying to fill his nightly quota. The two truck drivers are as miffed as we are. We are all accused of the same crime.

The cop says he saw us run a red light.

There’s four people, including myself, who saw a green light.

His word against ours.

The truck drivers are livid. They get a 1000 rupee fine for being mouthy. The copper looks like a young, over-enthusiastic greenhorn. He goes into this long speech on how he’s never taken a bribe, or even had a cup of tea on anyone’s account, and how he would go to serve in Jaffna if called up tomorrow..blahblahblah. He looks like he just finished his A Levels last year.

I plead in favour of my cabby. The guy didnt do anything wrong, and now he was going to have to sacrifice a day’s work just to go pay for something he didn’t do. We state our case. The cop gives some ground…100 Rupee fine for my cabby.

As we get back into the car, this gentile uncle figure explodes in some colourful language.

“These buggers are real fucking bastards! can you believe this? They are such mother fucking bastards…!!!!”

I agree. They are.

As he dropped me off I paid him a little extra for his troubles.

I couldn’t help thinking what way could an innocent man ever stand up say and he’s innocent when he goes up against a man in uniform who says he is guilty.

Next time you see any kakhi clad swine, …just knock ‘em over.